Have you ever had a moment where time practically stands still and you can feel your senses making a memory?
A little backstory first: I am 27 weeks and expecting a baby boy in November. My husband, Mario, is a high school football coach, finishing his masters in education. So the combo of the unpleasantries of pregnancy, and having daddy home for the Summer, has left me a bit detached from motherhood. Honestly, I wasn't even aware of it until it came time for them to return to school, and cries for daddy began.
As a farewell to Summer, we are in Tahoe for the long weekend enjoying this incredible lake. Unfortunately, Mario had to jet back to the Bay Area (home) to coach his annual jamboree. And what do you know... Were there middle of the night requests for daddy? Yes. Did it hurt me just a little? I thought you needed mama during nightmares and such. This left me feeling a little unstable for the rest of our trip... Am I still capable of doing this on my own? As a future teacher's wife, I know I might face this every august.
Anyway I've gotten carried away.
Today was a very cold very windy day at the lake. My nerves of Coco not wanting me dissipated as she was swept up in laughter with her cousins, Frankie and Ryder. But then something happened. Her cousins wanted to go to the arcade in the hotel and Coco didn't want to go play. She wanted her mommy.
So we sat in a cabana, just the two of us. Wrapped in towels and sweatshirts, our hair blowing in the wind. She nestled into me and whispered my name in a sigh.... Mama. I looked at her in awe cataloguing everything about this moment. The way her sunblock smelled of lavender and the way sand clung to the crevices of her face. We didn't speak except for the occasional observation of a bird or a kite. The waves of the choppy lake lapped the beach and her gaze upon them is truly unforgettable.
Mothers everywhere, when things feel uncertain, or even a little scary. There is a delicious moment waiting for you. It will reassure you, it will make frustrations melt away... These are the moments that define us as parents.